THE TWIN TOWERS OF DREAD AND DOOM.

The low point of my trip was without a doubt my experience in Osaka's Umeda Sky Building. The travel guide Lonely Planet says the following about this infamous building- "The Umeda Sky Building is Osaka's most dramatic piece of architecture. The twin tower complex looks like a space age version of Paris' Arc de Triomphe. Getting to the top is half the fun as you take a glassed in escalator for the final five storeys(definitely not for sufferers of vertigo)." Here is what any guide book written by sane people would say about the Umeda Sky Building - "DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO INSIDE THE BUILDING. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER VISITING THE OBSERVATION DECK. YOU CAN ADMIRE THE BUILDING'S INTERESTING (and sadistic) ARCHITECTURE FROM A SAFE DISTANCE (50 meters) BUT STAY CLEAR OF THE HELLISH GLASSED IN ESCALATORS!!!!" I am now in the process of sueing the editors of Lonely Planet for not sufficiently warning me about the awful truth of these twin towers of dread and doom. You may wonder why I am not sueing the owners of the Umeda Sky Building. In Japan no one ever sues anyone. One reason for this is that it is hard to find a lawyer in Japan. In the US if you walk out of any home any where, you will probably bump into a lawyer in about 3 minutes flat.( And God have mercy on you if you so much as scratch the lawyer when you bump into him.) In Japan a group of explorers has been on an expedition to find a lawyer . They have been serching for the past ten years and have so far only found the son of a Japanese lawyer and 867,987 visiting American lawyers. You may have detected that the Bloggster sometimes exaggerates things......but the following is the honest truth; For every 300 Americans there is roughly one American lawyer. For every 9,000 Japanese there is roughly one Japanese lawyer.......So, I and my team of 34 lawyers are sueing the American editors of Lonely planet and not the evil masterminds behind the Umeda Sky Building.......